What To Write On A Hookup Site
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Great question, Tony! You’re right about the two steps that make a great first message:
1) finding common ground with a girl, then
2) starting a conversation about it.
The key – and the best way to start a conversation – is to ask a question.
Girls love when you ask us questions. It’s flattering that you care what we think, and we like talking about ourselves.
But it can also be more complicated than that. Online dating is a little like gaming. Writing a message and getting a girl to reply is the final battle with the boss. In order to win, you’ll need all the knowledge, strength, and skill you’ve acquired so far.
But you also have one big advantage.
I’ll tell you what a girl’s biggest weakness is. We want you to win the battle.
That’s why we’re here, online dating. Girls get so many bad first messages, we’re dying to get a message so good it knocks us over.
Here’s how to level up with your first message:
1. Focus on quality, not quantity.
Unfortunately, many guys try to message a bunch of girls, instead of just the ones who are the best matches. They don’t take time to write good messages. They’d rather write a lot of messages – and take any response they can get, whether or not the girl is a good fit for him.
Girls see through this. We get so many of those lazy mass-messages that we just ignore them.
If you spend a little more time messaging girls who are a good match for you, you’ll probably find it’s much more productive. Look for girls with common interests, shared beliefs, and similar goals. Those girls are much more likely to respond to you because you are a good fit.
And a girl like that will appreciate that you took the time to read her profile, notice what you have in common, and ask her questions about those things, creating a solid connection.
2. Compliment common interests and personality – not looks.
Girls are tired of getting messages from guys who compliment our looks, but have nothing to say about the rest of our profiles. Those messages are shallow and meaningless – the online equivalent of getting dry-humped by douche bags in a club.
You’re not one of those guys, and you have to show us that.
The best first messages show us that you’re interested in who we are – not what we look like.
Like this first message example:
This is a great message for three reasons:
1) Miles leads with a compliment to my personality, rather than my face. This makes me open to what he’ll say next, because he’s showing me he’s different than those other guys.
2) He asks me a question based on a specific detail in my profile, and follows up with another broader question (bonus!). This is excellent because Miles:
a) proves he read my profile,
b) starts a conversation about stuff we share in common,
c) reinforces further that he’s interested in my thoughts, not just my looks, by asking more about the stuff I’m interested in.
3) Miles shows some of his own personality by asking about my fixer-upper house. I can tell he’s excited about the same stuff I am, which makes me excited to talk to him.
This is fuckin’ gold, Miles!
3. Start a conversation.
This might seem obvious to you and Miles, but so many guys don’t know HOW to do this! They ask really general questions, like, “How’s your weekend going?” or “What’s up?”
These messages are the worst.
While “How are you?” is a question, it doesn’t actually start a conversation. I can reply, “Good. How are you?” but then we’re back where we started. Pointless. I never reply to these messages because they bug the shit out of me.
If you read a girl’s profile and can’t think of a question to ask her based on the information there, don’t message her at all.
A great first message jumps past pointless questions and right into specific questions. The best questions you can ask have “long-game.” That’s why it works so well to ask a girl about something you have in common. When you bring up a topic you both like, you’ll both have lots to say about it, which paves the way for a longer conversation.
For example: say you and a girl are both snowboarders. You could easily lead by asking her the question: “Where’s your favorite spot to snowboard around here?” After she answers that, you’re probably also interested in asking how long she’s been snowboarding, what gear she likes, and if she has any upcoming trips planned.
Because you opened with a topic she’s interested in, too, she’ll probably ask you those questions back – plus more of her own.
That’s a lot to talk about, and that’s long-game.
To achieve this, you have to ask her questions. The questions are the gas. Making a statement, like, “I like snowboarding, too,” doesn’t move the conversation forward.
4. Keep it simple.
As a rule of thumb, ask one or two questions. Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics. This is overwhelming to girls. And it’s time-consuming to answer ten questions!
What To Write On A Hookup Site List
Stick with one or two low-pressure questions that make it easy for us to respond quickly because we’re interested. Online dating is awesome because a girl’s profile is one big list of conversation topics. Just pick one detail you think is cool, or you’re genuinely curious about, and ask her about it.
This guy does a nice job asking an easy question based on stuff we both like:
Last Updated on April 6, 2021
Today’s generation is absolutely scared about the word commitment- be it regarding fashion or relationship. A major part of the youngsters are more engaged in the process of hookups, and even then they do major blunders.
You might have friends around who would always mention how fun is using these hookup sites, but we bet none will be able to give you the correct tips on how not to ruin your upcoming fun experience.
Today we are here to give you 11 of the best hookup tips that no one will tell you so that you can have a pleasurable experience.
Follow these tips and you will no longer be the guy starving for hookups.
Contents
What To Write On A Hookup Site List
- Hookup Tips to be followed in 2021
- 10. Do not get wasted
Hookup Tips to be followed in 2021
1. Have a reason for doing it
Just don’t hook up because you need to do it and you haven’t done it for a long time. There can be many reasons for being attracted to the person such as feeling horny, wondering a pleasurable new experience or for improving your mental health. When you are indulging in casual sex for all the wrong reasons then it might be depressing post-hookup. Most importantly Do not Hook Up under peer pressure. Do it for the right reasons and you are sure to feel good.
2. Say ‘yes’ enthusiastically to the things you want
No matter how well your partner knows you he or she will still not be able to get an entire hold over what you desire and what you don’t. In that case, you need to be very outspoken so that things don’t go wrong. If you want a good experience then ask what you want either in a verbal or nonverbal manner. If you are jumping in with someone you hardly know it is not the time to be shy.
3. Say no to the things you don’t want
And you should be pretty affirming when you do so. Sex should always be consensual and anything you are not comfortable with should be spoken before. Sometimes in hookups subtle pressure or unwanted intercourse is common but that brings about the feeling of depression and regret in the days to follow. Know your limits and Express them clearly and loudly as per necessity.
4. Let your expectations come out
In most cases, it has been seen that while the guy was only hooking up as a one night stand the girl had become emotionally attached and vice versa. Let that not be the case for you. This is just a casual one-night hookup do let your partner know about it and clearly mentioned that it is a No Strings Attached temporary relation. Also, let them speak out about their expectations and if you guys are on the same page then go for it or else you’ll be labeled as THE Creepy Guy.
5. Try to avoid the manipulative ones
Try to avoid anyone who seems unwanted to you. When it comes to men it has been seen in research that they tend to be more aggressive, manipulative, narcissist, arrogant and sexist. When he is not consenting with you about your pleasure reputation well being and safety, then you should definitely not go out with that person. Who knows- he might take unwanted advantage out of you just because you have said yes to him once and you might end up getting hurt. There Plenty of respectful men out there and you necessarily do not have to hang out with the annoying ones.
6. Have a strict control over your infatuation
Infatuation and committing on a person is different from each other and an involuntary neurochemical process that can accompany with the hookup. The more you are intimate with them the more your commitment will grow. If you and your partner are not ready for any committed relationship right now, then it is always a good option to fight out of your infatuation by keeping yourself occupied. Try changing partners for a change so that you do not commit against your emotional feelings.
7. Love your partner for the time being
We understand that you are looking for casual intimacy and such kind of relationships do not build on emotional attachments but that does not have to mean that you will be detached with your partner even while you are with them. Even if your encounter with your partner is for a few hours yet you have to give everything that you have got and you need to really take care of the individual so that you can have a memorable experience ahead. Be genuinely passionate caring and attentive as well as respect your partner during all times you are with him or her together.
8. Get around people who will not judge you
If you already have an inferiority complex about yourself, do not make it worse by hanging around the judgemental people because no one wants to hear things like- “you do not look handsome, yet you are fun to be around”. Once again, no strings attached relationship does not mean in any way that you do not have to feel the connection with the other person, and with judgemental people, the connection is too difficult to find.
9. Engage in protected sex
It might seem pretty obvious suggestion and yet there are many who do not use protective measures by thinking he would not harm me. By all means, he or she could be hiding any disease and might not be even aware of having it. Why take risks when you can actually be safe and secure by doing protected sex?
10. Do not get wasted
Getting sloshed before casual sex is never a good option, especially when you hardly know the other person. You need to stay sane to enjoy the experiences that you are having. Also, it is important to be safe than sorry.
Bottom line
Even while following every guideline, mistakes do happen so do not be too hard on yourself. Instead, try to be better the next time and follow the tips given above. Once you do that, you will no longer have to look back.
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