• Dating Rules For Seniors Over 70
• Dating Rules For Seniors
• Dating Rules For Seniors Over 55

Lately I have been getting a lot of questions from older Christian singles who want to be married. They have been asking about what dating advice there is for them and what changes should they make to their dating approach since they are getting a little bit older.

1. For Christian singles, dating in groups or in public and not at hours where any potentially bad situations could arise is the right, smart and practical thing to do. Christian Dating Rule #7: Cultivate the right desires. Often, Christian dating rules don’t take into account that the desire to be married is not only real but very good.
2. Lately I have been getting a lot of questions from older Christian singles who want to be married. They have been asking about what dating advice there is for them and what changes should they make to their dating approach since they are getting a little bit older. Here are 4 Christian dating tips for older adults who would like to be married.

After several months of using an internet dating service, I decided to read some books about online dating. They all suggested a series of rules to follow, most of which were intended to help women feel safe. Their rules often failed to deal with what people in their 50s and 60s could expect. So here are some alternative rules that I think fit senior citizens a lot better.

Here are 4 Christian dating tips for older adults who would like to be married.

1. Trying Something New

My general tip would be to just try something different. Lots of times Christians hear a sermon or a teaching on dating and then assume that advice is the only way to ever date. There are certainly biblical truths that apply to dating that Christians should never violate, but “how” people date is an area where we have lots of freedom.

God has not given us one dating path to follow. The way people are joined together in marriage has changed over the centuries. Marriage is where God has let us know a lot more details. So you should not be overly attached to just one dating model. You don’t have to get to know someone as friends first before dating them, you are allowed to date your best friend, you don’t always have to be in a group setting, you can be in a group setting, you can date someone you just met, you can online date, you can go on a blind date from a trusted friend – as long as you are not violating a command in Scripture and you are not sinning.

Overall, if what you have been doing is not working, it’s time to try something different. Don’t just keep trying the same thing (or not trying the same thing) and expect different results.

2. Take Advantage of the Opportunities You Do Get

I think one change in advice that I would give to Christians who feel they are getting a bit older is to take advantage of the opportunities that do come across your path.

If a Christian guy or girl comes along that you are interested in or attracted to, you shouldn’t just sit back and see what happens like you did when you were 20. As you know, the older you get the less options there are. Don’t miss an opportunity to get to know someone who seems to have potential. If you are a woman, this can be a bit challenging because you might believe there is nothing you can do but sit back and wait to be pursued. (Read: Should a Christian Girl Pursue a Guy?)

I disagree. There are a lot of options you have, but perhaps the best piece of practical advice I have is use the power of an invite. If you want to let a guy know you are interested without coming across as desperate, just send him an invitation to do something. In person, over the phone, through text, whatever, just ask him if he would be interested in going out to dinner, a movie, or some other event you would enjoy. Invite and then let him take it from there.

All in all, whether you are a Christian guy or girl who is getting older, you have to accept that the options are more limited, therefore you should not let good opportunities pass you up. You can’t use the same approach you used when you were 19 or 20. You had more time and more options then. If you are going to error on the side of coming across as too forward or too passive, the older you get the more you want to take chances socially and just see what might happen rather than just waiting around for the other person to do something.

3. Date Outside of Your Social Box

This piece of advice applies to anyone who is having trouble meeting other Christians who they would want to date. If you are not meeting anyone in your circle, one solution is to start looking outside of your social box.

We all have a social box. We all come from a certain culture, from a certain neighborhood, from a certain economic environment, and from a certain family background. There’s nothing wrong with marrying someone like you, but you might be limiting some great options if you never start dating outside of your box.

Visit a church with a different culture. Start looking to date someone like you’ve never dated before. For example, have you ever considered dating someone who already has kids? This is a radical idea for some, but the older you get the more unrealistic it becomes that you will find someone who has been totally single there whole life. There are a lot of beautiful Christian single moms and strong Christian single dads out there that have grown from their past life experiences and are now ready to be a great spouse.

So think outside the box. What “type” of people have you always dated? Try something new. You never know what could happen.

4. Examine Your Expectations and Requirements of People You Will Date

Lastly, one huge problem that often causes prolonged singleness is perfectionism. In general, perfectionism kills productivity. When you apply this principle to Christian dating, sometimes the reason people remain single for so long is because they have too many requirements and boxes they need to check before they will ever give a guy or a girl a chance.

I’m not saying you compromise on you values or violate God’s word. But perhaps you need to shorten your list of requirements. The one piece of dating advice that I always hear and which I really do not like is “Never settle.” Of course I agree in general. You should never marry someone you don’t actually love. But I think some people say “Never settle” and Christian singles hear “Never date someone who isn’t exactly what you dreamed about.”

Our thoughts, dreams, and expectations as young people rarely match reality. When we get older, we can either cling to our fantasies and get bitter or depressed that our hopes are never fulfilled; or we can adjust our expectations and learn to appreciate people for who they are rather than pick them apart for who they are not. Many times people say, “There’s just no good options out there.” That might be true, or it might also be true that you just can’t see the good options because your standards are too high and you can’t see over them. There are oftentimes good options out there, but there are never perfect options out there.

So I’m not saying you need to lower your standards if you are getting older and are still single. I’m just saying it’s something to think about and pray about. What qualities are you placing too much importance on? What qualities might you want in a guy or girl but are not absolute necessities? The more expectations you have the less likely you will ever meet someone just like that.

Don’t just date anyone. If you don’t like someone, you don’t like him or her. That’s fine. Just be open to God doing something creative in your relationships.

As a man or woman dedicated to the Christian faith – and with a devout focus on God’s place in our daily lives – navigating the waters of modern dating can be tricky indeed. The place of faith and God within the context of a new relationship can often bring to mind questions that are not so easily answered or put away.

The fact is that Christian singles who are marriage-minded and commitment-focused need more than Christian dating advice when it comes to the season of their lives where a potential mate comes along. They would flourish, instead, with guidelines and Christian dating rules that they can recognize within Scripture and bring along into the rest of their lives.

These 7 rules for Christian dating has precedent in a faith that is all about temperance, conscious choice and love…

Christian Dating Rule #1: Instead of “godliness”, look for growth in your partner’s faith

As it is stated in the Bible, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). But, if you’re meeting online on a platform like EliteSingles, how can you get a sense of one’s commitment to faith?

The truth is that even a so-called Christian man or woman who identifies themselves as such or commonly visits church but does not actually act in his or her life to put sin to death, can be essentially “lawless”. There’s no real faith in that person’s heart so belief becomes a namesake.

So instead of looking to check the boxes — “does he go to church?” or “does he own or know the Bible?” look for those around your potential partner who can speak of their reputation.

Over time you also want to observe an expressed seriousness in their hearts to grow and deepen their understanding of and relationship with God. It is this willingness to grow in one’s faith, either through discipleship or community involvement, that you can truly get a sense of their belief.

Christian Dating Rule #2: There may be no such thing as “too fast”

The best piece of Christian dating advice is this: “too fast” is only what you make of it. And so, like the judgement of a person’s “Godliness”, look for quality and not a box to check. When you’re trying to assess “speed” of a relationship and how it’s progressing, you want to look within yourself (and behind their actions as well) for a sense of what is driving the heightened passion and regard.

Is it just a kind of lust? Is there truly a connection or is the relationship outpacing what you know about them or they know about you?

Moving “quickly” or not often comes with a sense of knowingness and security when one has made the right choice. So if you feel you “should” slow it down, do a double take and ask yourself if you’ve been able to see your potential partner’s “godliness” or what God has expressed through them and in them by virtue of their character.

If, on the other hand, there is an intuitive sense you get but that you just can’t quite put your finger on, that there is not enough here yet for either of you to justify such a rapid spark based on very little information or interaction, then it may very well be “too fast”.

Christian Dating Rule #3: Use social media wisely

For those who think that Christian dating rules should eschew all social media as a means of authentic connection, think again. That is certainly not what is being prescribed here.

The truth is, more exclusive platforms with a superior vetting and matching system can bring together Christian singles from all corners of the country in a soulmate meeting that might otherwise have never happened. As many mediums as there are, God works through them all.

However, one must also acknowledge the perils of technology and social media in particular. So all good Christian dating advice has to consider what kinds of interactions technology is being used support.

Keep interactions on social media without a flirting or teasing tone if it’s clearly going nowhere and there is no bid from either of you to try and define the relationship in any way. In this regard, social media allows people to hide behind a mask without ever having to “step up” and make a commitment.

It can be easy to like, comment and tweet at a whole range of singles at once and so it exacerbates a less pure form of how singles are approaching each other today.

However, if there is a real and stated sense of the fact that a man is pursuing a woman with the intent of a desire to establish a relationship and, furthermore, wants to make the commitment public knowledge, then that is a more than acceptable use of the social media medium.

Christian dating Rule #4: Stay open to a friendship blossoming into something more

One of the best pieces of Christian dating advice is something that not only Christian singles can benefit from: even non-denominational singles who are looking for commitment-minded partners would do well to remember that the basis for any truly whole-hearted relationship is often friendship.

This is friendship that starts off between a man and a woman as a shared collection of interests, invitations to community and fellowship events or through discipleships. It is during these moments that you can observe one’s godliness and involvement of faith.

Even when meeting online, once you move to a local context, compatibility can only grow deeper. Yet even Christian singles worry about being physically attracted to their potential partners when all the other “pieces” of godliness and faith in Scripture.

The fact is the quality of “godliness” is going to be attractive and sexy to one who is truly God-loving because that value matters over all others — and thus beautifies your potential partner. Even if you don’t feel a physical spark, at first, keep your potential mate close because that friendship may begin to blossom in your eyes.

The only thing to remember is this: it is great to pursue women in this spirit of friendship, a man should do so with an eye to cementing it into something defined and committed.

Christian Dating Rule #5: Even while dating, a man can (and should) “lead” his girlfriend

Dating Rules For Seniors Over 70

Biblically-speaking, a man should always lead his wife; not simply because this reflects the complementary nature of the two, but also because it is simply practical to maintain this structure. And, yet, when you’re just getting to know each other or be in that new “boyfriend-girl” stage, it can get tricky trying to know just how far a boyfriend can or should lead.

So a good rule of thumb is to use marriage as a yardstick: while a boyfriend should not “lead” his girlfriend or potential partner to the level of a husband and wife — which is to say he is not yet charged by God to lead, cover, provide and protect — he can absolutely encourage her already present devotion and natural gifts.

Christian Dating Rule #6: Remain in a position for purity

Christian dating rules always seem to hit this one on the head with a range of edicts so let’s not issue any ultimatums here. Instead, let’s understand the following: if the situation did not even present itself, what would be the case for talking about chastity or purity? None.

In the Song of Solomon, the desire to be physically close and intimate is inevitable and even beautiful. Here, Christian singles can turn to Scripture, once again, for an idea of how to navigate through modern dating. Staying sexually pure during dating is common sense for those who hold a high regard of godliness. In the Song of Solomon 1:16-17, the couple removes themselves from all temptation by keeping themselves out of the situation to begin with.

Dating Rules For Seniors

“Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful, our couch is green; the beams of our house are cedar; our rafters are pine.”

Instead of remaining indoors or in seclusion, the couple is outside, and visible to the public. For Christian singles, dating in groups or in public and not at hours where any potentially bad situations could arise is the right, smart and practical thing to do.

Christian Dating Rule #7: Cultivate the right desires

Often, Christian dating rules don’t take into account that the desire to be married is not only real but very good. Coming together as man and wife is not only not sinful but a direct expression of God’s own covenants.

The Creator has woven such a desire into our hearts so that we may act upon it. Modern dating means that you’re not only trying to find someone who is equal to you in education, family background, personality and income but also someone whose faith complements your own — and helps you to grow it, ideally.

When online on dating sites like EliteSingles, the first part is done for you through profiles, a unique vetting questionnaire and the platform itself. But deciding how much importance to place on finding a counterpart who shares your faith is ultimately up to you. Luckily, there are thousands of local Christian singles who sign up, with approximately 65,000 new members signing up every week.

At the same time, “quality” matches mean more than just surface characteristics. They also call for a deeper introspection into the desire to commit long-term. Many singles will eschew their beliefs in desperation to escape loneliness or the perceived (and flawed) assumption that dating mostly results in nothing.

But dating without the intention to be married or conscious choice to pursue a partner who truly lives between the bounds of a godly covenant is giving over to the cultivation of the wrong desires — these are the desires to escape boredom or the fear of being alone.

So take it lightly and easily. Do not compromise your own beliefs simply to find someone that might “match” you but does not hold your values to the same standard you do. Take the time to cultivate the right desires and pay due diligence – or use a service like EliteSingles that can do that for you!

Either way, it continues to be admirable, worthy and godly to go about your single life with just as much devotion and involvement in discipleship as if you were with a potential partner.

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Dating Rules For Seniors Over 55

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